sank you

oh! mad love. thanks y'all. I'm feelin' the love. Oh am I feelin' the love!

Sounds like one of those blogs these crazy musicians have on their websites where they go crazy - well, crazier - expressing their thanks to their quite insane fans and all). And how do I know this? Yup. I'm one of the very few, possibly only, sane fans who visits these websites. And before you go calling me a schmuck (whatever hell that's supposed to mean) I'm sure you'd do it too, if you were me - hmm. That doesn't quite build my case like I thought it would - oh hell, I just want to express my gratitude to the 7 or so people that've looked at this blog - and no! that is not a random number. I've had about 20 profile views and I know at least 14 of those are mine - and no again, I'm not a needy, insecure, self-absorbed withdrawn tortoise of a man (hate those self-aggrandizing know-it-alls who throw this psychobabble bullshit around like they're characters in some sappy 90's show). I was just looking for an excuse to be lazy - see, I had projected to have an audience of at least 5 in 5 months (roughly one a month for those too lazy to do the math). Now that that threshold's been passed, I can lull around - or focus on the writing and the living as opposed to the selling - I hate selling. It's a tough job. I couldn't hack it. I need people to love me and nobody loves salesmen (no I'm not needy, I thought we already got that out of the way).

Shout out to Anonymous who left me a few comments - a couple actually; one for each of the previous posts - you are the man, or woman, or transgender or whatever... depending on how you self-identify (very important word there, I think)

I can take no credit for this success so early in the game - already I have offers from extremely well-known magazines to write some spiel about stuff, but you'll be happy to know I turned down these multiple five-figure offers just to stick to my rocking fans - Rock on! I just did the the ROCK ON finger sign and I know you just did so as well - we are so connected, you and I. Hopefully these magazines, if they know what's good for them, will return with six-figure offers (which, of course, will be promptly turned down - no doubt about that)

But like I said, I can take no credit for this. I asked a cool cat, AM, to spread the word like fire across facebook. I don't have an account myself and I don't intend to have one - for a lot longer, I hope. I much prefer the face-to-face let's vibe and/or get physical right here right now mode of communication rather than the let's type and text and hopefully meet someday for a cup o' tea one. As much as I love the written word, body language is so much better; so rich and so expressive! I've already given my soul to this soulless mechanical medium called blogger and while, I acknowledge that it is inevitable that one day I will have to join a social networking site of some kind (myspace, facebook, bebo, habbo, twitter, nutter, or maybe on of those 'looking for love' joints) I am happy to say that that day is not today. Why? You ask, it's just a bit of innocuous technology. Wrong! Besides the obvious matrix 'robot take over the human world and turn all meat into batteries' nightmare thing going, there's the Antichrist to think about! Most people think that the Antichrist is going to be this one single individual guy as strong as Mohammed Ali. They're mistaken; it's the corporation, man! or better yet THE CORPORATION - also called Apocalypse Inc. which is a subsidiary of the Armageddon group. Antichrist & Co. - known today chiefly as Google. (Disclaimer: Google is the owner of Blogger). I can see the future people. These eyes are old and wise. "And you will know the signs when Google finally catalogues the sky and all the stars therein shall be held in one gigantic database-satellite space station to be accessed only by Sergey and Larry whenever they wish to cast them down as fire and brimstone to create floods and pestilence and all sorts of manner of things. These things shall come to pass when Google shall change its motto from 'Don't be evil' to 'Only be evil' - thus it is written, so shall it be." It is my duty, as it is now yours, to spread the good news...um I mean truth...that the world may know - and so unwittingly bring the end closer to...um...its...its end?

Thanks for the unwitting disciples AM, my African Soul Brother. He hates it when I call him that - would rather be called friend or brother "because," he says, "it reduces what is a deep intimate relationship based on our unique personalities into some casually thrown platitude created to oil a dreary political machine based on superficialities very akin, in fact, to the very racial trappings which we are trying to transcend." (Boy, you should hear him talk). My prompt reply? "Bullshit, you closeted Africa hater!" And he promptly runs into the closet to cry his heart out - but I love that fucker! He's also an aspiring writer, storyteller, or something. "I find that narrative can be quite the tool for meditation." In this light, I refer you back to his facebook profile thing and read his notes? notes, he says. I think you'll find them to be quite meditative - on what I don't really know. He complains. Get the fuck out of here (actually meant to say that out loud but he's reading over my shoulder to make sure I've marketed him as much as he has me). Quid pro quo is his catchphrase, that capitalistic prick. And he calls himself African! Shame. He's apparently Kenyan (cool) and is of the Taita tribe (doubly cool - except I think he only says these things because he saw a photo of my sisters - which is silly because they're not Kenyan at all). He likes the eldest who just turned 18 (joy, he says until I point out that she was 16 in the picture). Of course, now he doesn't like her - had more to do with my carefully veiled threats concerning my sisters than anything else, I think. Introductions are in order. I've got these three cutesy-wutesy (they will hate that! and I will never admit that I said that ever in public!) sisters. There's Sophie, Marjorie and Angel (was my dad's turn to name the kids - my mom added an 'a' at the end of her name in her birth certificate, so she's technically Angela). I love these kids to bits! ahem. Moving on.

Chaos broke out in Kenya - again. But there's this pal of mine from Chitown who also happens to be Kenyan (but that usually means something else when you're African-American). She's in Kenya right now and she says that it's not as bad as the media agencies here (here being the US of A) are reporting. It's hard to believe her. The pictures look pretty graphic and I'm pretty sure the photojournalist was much closer to the scenes of violence than she was. But lest we go blaming people for this problem, lets think back a few weeks. And let's change the setting to Mozambique (lovely place. spent about a year in Maputo back when I was yet to be me...have been back a couple of times and it didn't seem to change until a few years back, now there's all these buildings going up all over the place). Any way so in Mozambique, it's floods that's disrupting elections. Natural causes! So the conclusion? Africa's problems are largely natural problems!! Naturally, human beings are a natural phenomena. Remember dat!

I'm out. Peace (literally - wait, is it a verb?)